Misunderstood internet humor

My work buddy didn't like my silly response to her "serious" post.

Like a Swordsman

Can be purchased at Purple Heart Armoury.

Last week we had a huge snow storm, which canceled school and allowed me to sleep in for a couple of days.

I couldn't find my snow scraper in the trunk of my car. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to use it in April.

But I had to work the same day.

I practice Historical European Martial Arts and carry my trainers in my car.

So this happened.

3/28 Car Truths: Parking

Parking!

Most van dwelling and other types of vagabond blogs mention Wal-Mart parking lots as the go to for free parking. Because my car life in Fort Collins is longer than a couple of days, and Wal-Mart is out of my way, I chose to park in various locations around down that I deemed safe.

After finding different places to park, I developed a sense to what locations are better to park than others. In the state of Colorado, it isn't illegal to sleep in a car, which might of helped with this. 

Instead of parking in neighborhoods with plenty of housing, I stayed near apartment complexes. This is a college town and having unfamiliar cars near apartment buildings is not unusual. 

Most of the time I parked on the street, near an apartment complex. Parking is sacred in Fort Collins and many apartment complexes have designed parking spots. Depending on the complex and the time I had to wake up in the morning (early is preferred), I parked in between two parked cars. That way, the people are already inside and no one parks next to you during the night.

I avoided down town and heavy party areas, as many students walk to different parties. I didn't want some dudes looking in the car and seeing me, like before.

I avoided parking near street lamps for two obvious reasons; to make it harder to see in to the car and because its harder to sleep with bright lights shining down on you.

2/28 Car Truths: Drinking

Drinking!

Safely drinking can be an issue even when one does have a home. The several times I have gone out drinking started and ended pretty smoothly: stayed at a friends house till morning and slept down town in my car. Then there's just practicing good old moderation and staying fit to drive (no more than two drinks).

A couple of weeks ago my friends invited me out for a ~girls night~ which included a free lobster dinner. I know, right?! My friend won a Red Lobster gift card and took another friend and myself out for a night on the down. What a pal.

At the restaurant, I had an Irish Coffee and two tequila shots.

At the house party afterwards, I had a shot and two cheerleader beers.

When it got time to leave, our two DDs decided that it would be easier to pick up my car and one of them drive it to the dorms and the second one follow to drive the first DD back home.

I've been telling my mom and friends I live on campus; which is technically true. I do live off the facilities on campus: Rec Center, bathrooms, Study Cube. 

Not exactly knowing how to handle this, a little drunk I played along, rode in my car with my friend to the dorms. The second DD and her waited for me to "go inside" so that I would be safe.

I sneaked around a tight corner and hid until they left. Once the truck drove out of sight, I ran to my parked car.

Always have a plan. Always drink according to that plan. I also would suggest not to have alcohol in your car, to avoid problems if the cops run into you.

1/28 Car Truths: Piddle

To celebrate the final 28 Days Before Graduation, this is a series to highlight some of the features of living in a car. While the past couple of posts have been more about life and personal preferences, this blog is still themed on the essentials of car life.

Piddle!

When I first started this blog, I tried to be as gender neutral as possible. I'm a girl and being homeless is a dangerous situation to put myself in.

As I near the end of my stay in Fort Collins and have the perspective that no one really reads my blog, I'm starting to care less about how I represent myself.

Sometimes, I forget right before bed that I live in my car.

Sometimes, I'm out with friends and feel so normal again.

Sometimes, I forget to use the fucken toilet before I go to bed.

This is important. To better understand my situation, try waking up and not immediately relieving your bladder. Try it. Drink a whole glass of water before you go to bed. Go for a thirty minute walk, stay in bed for a little while.

I've pissed outside four times because I didn't think I could make it to the nearest campus facility with a restroom. Behind my car at four in the morning, behind the dorms around nine, in the corner of fences behind a bush sometime around seven, and behind a brick wall next to a statute.

If I want to do anything, it has to in public facilities and some times I mess up and forget that I rely on such places.

Working

The Abolition of Work by Bob Black

"No one should ever work.

Work is the source of nearly all the misery in the world. Almost any evil you’d care to name comes from working or from living in a world designed for work. In order to stop suffering, we have to stop working.

That doesn’t mean we have to stop doing things. It does mean creating a new way of life based on play; in other words, a ludic conviviality, commensality, and maybe even art. There is more to play than child’s play, as worthy as that is. 

...

Liberals say we should end employment discrimination. I say we should end employment. 

Conservatives support right-to-work laws. Following Karl Marx’s wayward son-in-law Paul 

Lafargue I support the right to be lazy. 

Leftists favor full employment. Like the surrealists — except that I’m not kidding — I favor full unemployment. 

Trotskyists agitate for permanent revolution. I agitate for permanent revelry. 

But if all the ideologues (as they do) advocate work — and not only because they plan to make other people do theirs — they are strangely reluctant to say so. They will carry on endlessly about wages, hours, working conditions, exploitation, productivity, profitability. They’ll gladly talk about anything but work itself. These experts who offer to do our thinking for us rarely share their conclusions about work, for all its saliency in the lives of all of us. Among themselves they quibble over the details. 

Unions and management agree that we ought to sell the time of our lives in exchange for survival, although they haggle over the price. 

Marxists think we should be bossed by bureaucrats. 

Libertarians think we should be bossed by businessmen. 

Feminists don’t care which form bossing takes so long as the bosses are women. 

Clearly these ideology-mongers have serious differences over how to divvy up the spoils of power. Just as clearly, none of them have any objection to power as such and all of them want to keep us working.

You may be wondering if I’m joking or serious. I’m joking and serious." - excerpt from Bob Black's "The Abolition of Work," found at the Anarchist Library 

(I separated the paragraphs into individual sentences to emphasize points)

As a frugal filly, who tends to go on and on about savings and money, I like to read ideas of abolishing the very things I fret over. Vandwelling, the Tiny House movement, mmlism and frugality is eliminating parts of society that we don't need in exchange for freedom. Unfortunately freedom usually means the strict control of finances and refusing to accept the consumer sedatives of corporatocracy.

This article reminded me off a speech by John Cleese, on creativity.

Somewhere out there, there is a world that you can make for yourself, with your own rules, limits, hours, in and out put. If you dedicate every moment of your time and money penny you can save to create a work environment that isn't a work environment, but one where you can be ludic in your labors.

 I guess that's what inspires me about the online webcomic, etsy shop owner, full-time blogger, vlogger, internet renaissance folks.

They worked their asses off after years of having normal jobs, lives and what not.

Through a mixture of luck, hard work and consistency they rose from having a hobby to having a career.

What have I been doing? Making ends meet, just to be slightly averagish at college, while maintaining my HEMA fancies and trying to build friendships.

I always feel like I'm not doing enough. Everyone is at college (this is a campus after all). Everyone has a crappy job they hate.

I need to rise above that. Somehow, between work, school and hobbies, I need to produce more, do better.

National Poetry Month

To celebrate National Poetry Month, the library has a neat little table filled with book puns. I don't care much for poetry. There are a few great poets, like Poe, who can capture my imagination however, that's not what this post is about.




  I love libraries. I remember going to the Sand Creek Library almost every week and checking out books. Over the summer the library featured programs that rewarded you with a beanie baby knock off if you read so many books. My sister and I would grab stacks of books and spent all week reading just to get a crappy little stuffed animal. She would read out loud to me.

She would summarize books she had read that were a little too much for my age at the time and make up her own stories, relate them to our neighborhood and lives. We would go on walks through the block and she would say things like, this is a zoo now and in each house an animal lives. Underneath that brush there is a leopard! This empty lot is a for a cheetah! Unfortunately, her wild imagination is also spawns from her mental illness, which turned pretty violent around puberty.

Even when she moved out and went to live with my dad, I still went to the library. I walked, rode my bike, checked out books and still find myself in libraries when I need to feel connected to something.

In middle school, you'd find me with my nose in a book, sitting in the corner. In high school, I joined impromptu book clubs, because the Sword of Truth novels captured the imagination of a random collection of students. My love for fantasy novels led me to find a medieval combat group and now I'm a part of a HEMA community. I'm graduating, in thirty-one days, with a history degree due to my love of reading.

My interests, imagination, and motivation sprung forth from the pages of books. Libraries are my havens, walls of books to guard me against the world by introducing me to it. When I feel I don't understand people, my empathy is found within the pages of someone's mind spill. I am never alone when I read, but feel connected to people even more.

Expectations on Easter

EXPECTATIONS

My friends from work invited me over
for Easter. We decided to bake these cute
little bunnies for the occasion.
I don't know the exact source, but found them on tumblr.

  Reality is less picturesque.

Fun at work

Crushin' Cullens in the Compacter

Development of teh Plan

When I first transferred to my CSU, I wanted to continue on to get my doctorates in Medieval History.  Since childhood, I have been obsessed with the Legend of Zelda and that preoccupation carried over the years as an interest in the time period it emulates.

Swords.
Castles.
Garb and kick-ass shoes.

All of it interested me.









Further down the road, I still study the material culture of the period, but right now I'm focused on the history (and the modern world's reimagining) of the Crusades, specifically focusing on Christiandom's relationship with the Islamic Middle East.

My GPA is not competitive enough to qualify for significant financial aid. Partially due to my personal life and unfamiliarity with college as a first generation student.



BUT, I always have a goal and plan to work towards, even though it changes a long the way! Right now, after graduating I have a specific schedule.

Pay off my college loan by the end of graduating (300 left, I'll explain what happened to the other monies I've been saving in the next post.)

Work until mid-September.

Go to a martial arts conference and an anime convention.

Visiting my artificial family in California.

Turn twenty-four.

Sign up as a linguist for the military.


Even if the VA benefits and health care are shit due to the current economic mess and mismanagement of VA records, the money made in the military could mostly go towards my education. I already know German proficiently and adding another language to that would set me up as a great candidate for a master program.

Just a plan.

Plasma Center

Needle hole, iodine stains, bandages

I started donating plasma. The first two weeks, as a first time donor, I made 80 a week. Now, as a regular, I'm down to 55.

It's a strange, painfully draining feeling to have a needle sucking the blood out of you and then pushing it back in. The saline that they provide after the blood plasma separating process makes me shiver, because the saline is 20 to 30 degrees colder than my body.

Also, let's look at the word usage here: donating plasma.

Donating is a gift, to contribute towards a cause and, like most gifts, nothing is suppose to be expected in return. When I donated a bunch of clothes and knick knacks to Good Will, I'm not expecting a monetary return.

I do not donate plasma.

I'm selling it.

I'm selling it at the lowest price they figure they can get away with paying people, to then sell the plasma to research facilities.

I do not wake up super early in the morning to rush over and donate blood, because they don't pay me for donating blood. (I have once, and probably should again. I'm B negative, which apparently is super rare.)

I wake up, to avoid the lines, of the misfit groupings of people, who all need those extra couple of bucks a month just to survive, to sell my plasma.

The end.

Running like a MTHFKR

New record running! I went from 11:45 a mile to 10:11 a mile in a five mile run. My fastest mile speed is two miles in 17:43 seconds. This is good!

Visting Cousin!

Source

Source

Exciting news! My cousin is traveling down from Germany to visit my mom, sister and myself. Except for my late grandparents, none of her family has ever visited. 

I've been to Germany a couple of times as a kid, but didn't have a firm handle on the language then. Now with my improved proficiency in the language, it will be great to actually talk to my relatives directly and not through my mom.

While I visited my mom during break, my cousin sent an early Easter care package with a bunch of German chocolate. Yum! Germans know how to make their sweets.

Homecoming

The cake, feat. red chucks.

My pup, Penny. Smart as a tack.

All three of the beasts, in the guest bed with me. Penny, Bubba and Basil.

I have the best mom ever. My manager had to leave work for a family emergency and never approved my four days off to visit home. I still managed to spend two days visiting mom, the pups and my cat.

My mom saved a Valentine's Day cake for me in the freezer and we had steak and broccoli, my favorite dinner, on my first night back. She helped me sign up for a low-income dental insurance wait list and organize a bunch of my old crap to donate.



I still feel pretty bad. Because of her leg surgery my mom has picked up extra shifts in one of her jobs and the clients there seem like jerk offs. In her other job one of her major clients is actually moving up near Fort Collins and she's loosing that income.

When I graduate in May, I'll definitely be helping her by paying back that family loan, but I still feel my mom deserves better than working two jobs just to get by at 49.

Work Situation

Came into work this Saturday, running into my replacement for the cell phone kiosk.

What a great feeling to train the person replacing you.

Especially, when that dude couldn't tell you where the top and bottom of a monitor is.

Anyways, moving to the floor went smoothly. My coworkers already know me and several said I would be a "great asset" at the end of the day.

I guess I will have to get over the fact that my boss told me I should feel lucky that I have a job and I should accept the fifty cent pay cut as a favor.

I'm paraphrasing, of course.

Mardi Gras!

German and French club host a Mardi Gras/Fasching celebration every year and I'm not one to miss out on free food and good music. The one benefit of living closer to campus is scoping out free food given to student events. Our student fees technically cover all of it, so "free" isn't the right term, but without some inquiring I would never see any of this food anyways. Cupcakes, hot wings and vegetable trays for all!

It's Snowing

From Friday night when it snowed.

 My view from under the covers

 Waking up Monday morning to another blanket of snow

 Part of the frost is on the outside, the frosty condensation is also on the inside of the window

Mouse Trap

After reading this inspiring article by David Cain just a few days ago, Your Lifestyle Has Already Been Designed, I caught myself today falling into the trap.

The summary of the article is that because the forty hour work week has taken up so much time that people have they tend to over spend on the weekends to recover from the droll of the week. As I work twenty plus hours and week and spend the rest of my time school-working, I rarely have time for entertainment or recovery.

I had a really stressful day at work.

I had a really stressful day at work.


I'm going to type it one more time: I had a really stressful day at work.

I am at my three strikes at work. My manager basically told me that this meeting should of been my termination and that I should talk to him in two days to change positions in the company (or face the "responsibilities" of my job).

Let me elaborate here: I am one of those annoying cell phone polo shirts that interrupt your shopping and use every tactic in the book to get you to buy a phone.

One of these desperate people

Source: http://www.printapromo.com.au/uniforms-and-clothing/custom-polo-shirts/mens-unisex/pp-2mp-jbs-wear-embroidered-podium-moto-polo-shirt

The first time, my manager wrote me up: a customer threw a tantrum in the store because their cell phone bill was higher than the brochures. Apparently, they decided not to understand the concept of TAXATION. That was my fault for telling them that their cell phone bill would be X and not X + taxes.

The second time was a couple of months ago, when I showed up on the wrong day and skipped the right one. My room mate thought it would be funny to fuck with the written down schedules I posted on the fridge. A no-call, no-show called for a coaching.

Today would of been my last day. I have been late for work once a month for around 11-16 minutes for sixth months. The last time I arrived tardy happen to be the day that my mom's pug vomited blood on me.

He was cuter as a puppy. A puppy that didn't vomit as much.

Fortunately for me, my late hours working, covering shifts and building good customer repoire has paid off as I didn't get fired. Unfortunately for me, I've been "suggested" to leave my position and be a regular sales associate on the floor. I wouldn't mind as much (working on the floor is fun), except for the pay deduction.

Source: http://www.foodspotting.com/reviews/324180

Feeling rather stressed, during my break I fumed my way to the sandwich shop across the parking lot and "treated" myself to a 6 dollar meal, complete with cookie.

Breaking my food budget and personal goals for a sandwich and a cookie I fell into the trap of convenience and want. I had food in the car. I already overspent my budget last month. I can't really afford to be homeless, let alone be homeless and eating out.

Lesson of the day! Watch where every cent of your money goes.

My Car

Where my food and books go.

The blue ottoman is used to support my legs, when I sprawl out to sleep.

The view from outside the car

Things I've Noticed

I invariably arrive early. (Where else to go?)

I work out more. (Must shower.)

I spend more time on homework. (No distractions.)

I always wake up early. (Must be awake by six to use the gym bathroom)

I’ve made more plans with people. (There is always an activity to occupy the time in between bedtime and wake-up time: hanging out with friends, getting a workout buddy.)

Setting up my bed is getting easier, so is finding safe places to park. (I’ve mapped out most eligible places, switching them up every night.)